Bye-bye, 2011

I can't tell you enough how much I'm looking forward to 2012, and it feels a long time since I've been able to say that about an upcoming year.

2011 was full of new things -- trying new things, as well as new ways of doing things. In January 2011, I published A Silver Kiss (Vampire Poetry), with no intentions other than to give it a go and see if it would go anywhere. That's also how I approached my erotica writing. Now that was a surprise! Can't say that I would have sat down two years ago and thought, in two years time, I'll be writing and publishing erotica! To be honest, I'm still experimenting with that genre. I love writing it, I get a buzz out of it, but the truth is that I feel I'm more suited to writing paranormal romances -- maybe even urban fantasies, if I decide I don't want a romance as the main part of the story. Erotic romance too, maybe ... but not "erotica" per se.

Even with The Witching Pen, I really thought it wouldn't go anywhere, and have been quite taken aback by the wonderful comments from people. It's all been one big experiment. Writing 'Til Death Do Us Part was more of an eye-opener, for some reason I can't fathom, and finishing that little story solidified the theme for 2012 for me. Whatever seeds were planted in 2011, I'm going to make sure they grow in 2012.

2012 is the year I want to make things solid, from the place that I live in with my family, to my writing and my readership.

On a personal level 2011 has been trying. I discovered and accepted the fact that I'm not a "natural" mummy -- I find it hard, and harder than most I think. Yet, there's that question of whether I should have more kids or not hanging in the air. Let's top that up with, we live in a one-bedroom flat, and neither me or my beloved are earning a  fortune, so moving out in this climate is looking dim -- not impossible, but dim. Still neither of us will compromise our passions (my writing and his homoeopathy -- and what a damn fantastic homoeopath he is) for a heartless, monotonous job that may earn us more -- because we firmly believe that is not a good example for our daughter. That should be the absolute last resort.

I can't put into words how grateful I am for a relationship as ours -- for this level of understanding between us ... so 2011 was also a year of testing that understanding and acceptance, and I feel we're moving into 2012 stronger as a family unit because of it.

In 2012, I want to earn a substantial amount through my writing, but I also want to experiment with a couple of new genres. I'm not a one-genre girl and don't really want to be boxed into just one type of writing. If I were an actress (as I thought I might be back in 1999), I wouldn't want to be stereotyped either.

In 2012, I want to be a little more organised -- not a lot, because, hey, that just wouldn't be "me" -- but a little more than I have been this year to make life easier.

In 2012, I want to spend more quality time with my family, and especially my wonderful man, who simply lets me be who I am.

In 2012, I want to either move out of our home into somewhere bigger, or find some kind of peace with it being the way it is, although I'm rooting for the first option and I think it might just happen, although I have no idea how.

In 2012, I want to be a little more connected with nature. That may mean moving to a more countrified area, which would be wonderful.

But probably most of all, in 2012 and I want to be happy, and head into the year as I did in 2011: hopeful, aspiring, ambitious, and knowing that nothing can knock me down permanently, no matter the challenges that life throw at me. Human beings are not fragile things -- we are love personified. We are the result of our souls, all wrapped up in a material body; that body making it a little harder to see how immortal we truly are.

So I wish you all an indestructible 2012. If the world falls down around you -- if it tries to take you down with it -- know that it is not the mechanics of your feet and brain that hold you up, that makes you stand up again, but the reality of your heart and soul. That is the true you. You are immortal.

Happy New Year, everyone :)


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