Would I ever sign up with a commercial publisher?

This is a subject that has been rattling around in my mind for the past 2 months. We all have dreams as kids, don't we? And almost all of those dreams involve seeing your name in lights, somehow or another.

A few weeks ago, I was told by someone that because my writing is very not mainstream, I was highly unlikely to get signed with a publisher. I hate to admit that this bothered me, but it did. That conversation has been on the back of my mind ever since, and I've been swinging from trying to feel like it doesn't matter, to feeling extremely frustrated.

No. I don't write "mainstream" - although I have to say that I'm not sure what mainstream really is anymore (probably not my new werewolf series, lol). And although it's amazing and wonderful to see all my author friends - who perhaps write more mainstream romances, and the ones I've read have been awesome - getting signed up with a publisher (it's been happening ever since Fifty Shades...) it has hit a button. Because the truth of the matter is that, unless I write something "more acceptable", that will probably not be me.

I never say never. If the opportunity came my way, I would consider all my options before accepting or rejecting.

BUT, I am slowly beginning to come to terms with the above fact. I can't change the way I write... well, actually, I could, but unless it's done out of passion for the subject, it would not be a truth, and I'm big on "truth", whatever it is. Your own personal truth. I won't sacrifice it for anything - not even to move the three of us out of this stupidly small one-bed flat we live in. It may not be good business sense, but it's my own type of sense. It's the sense of the "higher heart", and when you die, it's one of the few things you take with you - you have to take care of your heart. If I ever write something "more mainstream" - which, please understand, may be highly unlikely -  it'll be because the story spoke to me, I felt it needed to be told, and I wrote it with passion, and not for any other reason. This is a promise to myself and to my readers.

So I will say now, without a shadow of doubt, that I will never sign up with anyone if I feel it will compromise my writing style and the kinds of stories that a small number of you have come to love. I'm going to quote Joss Whedon (again): "I'd rather make a show 100 people need to see, than a show that 1000 people want to see." I believe in that 100%

He also said: "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck."

I don't think I suck.

Not yet, anyway ;)

Love to you all,

Dianna xxx

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